A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”
“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.
“Type?” inquires the man, “There’s more than one type?”
“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to chose from.”
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied: “There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?”
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen. The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright. The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills”.
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, “Hey that’s a good idea! What is it that you put over your cigarette?”.
The other old lady said,” Its a condom”.
“A condom? Where do you get those?” The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy.
When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms.
The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, “What size do you want?”.
The old lady thought for a minute and said, “One that will fit a Camel!”
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.
“Have you ever seen one of these before?” one asked.
“Yeah, my mom and dad have one,” the other replied.
“What’s it for?” asked the first boy.
“I don’t know,” the second boy answered. “I think you stand on it and it makes you mad.”
If you have children, they probably ruin many things in your house: TV, microwave, doors, etc. If not, you are lucky. If yes, you are just another “blessed†parent with a good sense of humor who can smile even when your kids have the last laugh.
